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Playing Hurt: A Guy's Strategy for a Winning Marriage, by Brian Goins
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Everyone admires people who play hurt, from the superstar athlete to the journeyman player who finishes the game even when hurt, sick, or falling apart. Everyone looks up to these athletes and wants to mimic their never give up attitude. Except when it comes to marriage.
- Sales Rank: #914940 in Books
- Brand: Kregel Publications
- Published on: 2011-06-24
- Original language: English
- Number of items: 1
- Dimensions: 8.40" h x .40" w x 5.50" l, .30 pounds
- Binding: Paperback
- 152 pages
About the Author
Brian s home base is in Charlotte, NC where he serves as lead pastor for Renaissance Bible Church. He enjoys traveling and speaking to couples at Family Life s Weekend to Remember conferences with Jennifer, his bride and mother of their three children (Brantley, Palmer, and Gibson). He s written numerous study guides, workbooks, and Bible studies that he has developed for Insight for Living and Walk Thru the Bible.
Most helpful customer reviews
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Playing Hurt - A Call to be a Gospel-Centered Husband
By RandallWMann
Playing Hurt by author Brian Goins (Kregel, 2011) is, hands down, the best book of its kind that I have read. It is thoroughly biblical, Gospel-centered, and written from such a manly perspective you can almost smell the sweaty socks laying in the corner and see the underwear laying in the floor that didn't get picked up after the last shower (or maybe the one before last).
The book centers around Paul's well-known admonition to husbands in Ephesians 5:25: "Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her." As such, Goins shows that Christ is the ultimate example for Christian husbands to seek to emulate. Goins does not, however, simply encourage husbands to look at how far we are from Christ's example, and then encourage us to try harder to do better. Instead, he shows that we cannot live in this way without Christ's power and presence with us. As Goins says, "God's not looking for willpower and good techniques. He wants men brave enough to depend on His strength more than their own." (139)
The great irony the author points out is that the very one we have been called to love sacrificially, our wife, is the one who often "hurts" us, whether through unmet expectations, harsh criticism, or in some other way. It is at this point that many husbands go running for the bench, either by lashing out in retaliation, or by clamming up, going into silent mode. Goins shows how it is at these difficult moments that men must man-up, "playing hurt" rather than simply giving up and being content to sit on the bench.
Goins writes not from the perspective of one who has achieved the status of "model husband," but as one who is a fellow traveler. He shares personal examples where he has gotten it right, as well as instances where he has blown it. All along the way, he continues to hold up the example of Christ, never allowing husbands to settle simply for "the best I can do." And, like a good coach, he is constantly shouting encouragement from the sidelines.
While the book focuses on the man's role as husband, Goins takes a spiritually holistic approach to the topic by demonstrating the necessity of elements such as discipleship, mentoring and accountability. He also reminds us about the reality of spiritual warfare, and the booby traps of lust, pornography, etc. And, he manages to write a spiritually-challenging book by incorporating a great balance of strong biblical truth, real-life examples, and a healthy dose of humor (including his use of the "Black Knight" scene from Monty Python and the Holy Grail!)
Men should buy this book and read it. They should encourage their friends to read it. Women should encourage their husbands to read it, and tell their girlfriends to encourage their husbands to read it as well. It will be required reading for any man for whom I provide pre-marital counseling, including my two sons. May God use this book for His glory as husbands answer the call to love their wives as Christ loved the church.
(I received a free copy of this book from the publisher for writing this review.)
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful.
Love Your Wife
By Andrew Smith
In Playing Hurt, Brian Goins teaches husbands about how men are suppose to handle their marriage. Men can play hurt in sports and still have the determination to get back up and get back in the game. But in marriage, Goins has seen men walk away and give up on being there for their wives. When men are hurt we incline to have our way. We want our wives to change but we often don't get to root of who we can actually change. Sometimes men tend to shrink back and play hurt when we get offended. It is imperative that men grow up and overcome their boyish ways. We don't always have to win the fights and we don't have to withdrawn from our wife when we become angry. Goins had a great point about remembering who our real enemy is. It isn't our wives but it is the king of lies, Satan. We are called to love our wife like Christ loved the church. One day we will have to hand our wife back to Jesus.
Goins has many role models in his life that he is encouraged by and challenged to become like. He isn't looking up to celebrities' marriage but everyday men who love their wife like Christ does. Goins shared Greg`s story that really jumped out at me. Greg takes care of his wife who is in a wheelchair. He loved her enough to help her in health and sickness. That is my definition of what marriage is suppose to be like. We can't give up and say it is too hard. Most of us choose to get married.
This is what we are called to do in marriage and in our lives:
"Jesus is a perfect God loving imperfect people unconditionally for a lifetime. The only thing greater than that would be if God's imperfect people loved other imperfect people unconditionally for a lifetime" (Page 137).
I would recommend this book to any husband and single men. If you are single don't wait until you're married to read this book you can start reading it now. Women can also read this book to help understand the inside life of a man and what we go through. I am currently single and not married yet. This book has helped me to prepare for my future wife. I must always remember that we are different. I have to express my love for my wife by telling her how beautiful she is every single day. Women need men to open their mouths and encourage them. It isn't always about providing and moving the grass. We have to verbally and listen to our wives. The key is communication and caring. God can help anybody to grow into the person he created them to be. If you are struggling in your marriage or just want to know how to love your wife better, I encourage you to read this book. Any marriage can be improved with God's intervention and his help! It is not too late!
"I received this book for free from Litfuse Publicity Group for this review".
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful.
Stay in the game
By damon
This book is great for men trying to stay in the tough game of marriage. It gives some practical insights but mainly level sets our job to a biblical standard and encourages us to not be so selfish. I'm struggling in my marriage and this inspires me to push through! In fact I bought copies for friends who are also struggling. I wish there was a version for wives!
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